


Going Home

by AlmostUnderground



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 18:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18856345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmostUnderground/pseuds/AlmostUnderground
Summary: “What are you doing here?” Sam started, signing with one hand as an attempt to not jostle the baby as much as possible.Grizz didn’t speak, maybe because Eden was sleeping, and instead simply signed, “I needed to see you.”“Why?” Sam questioned. The morning air was freezing against his bare face and his thin layer of clothing. He held Eden close.Grizz bit his lips. He took a moment, staring at the snow beneath his boots before he replied.“I think I know how to get us home,” He signed, a small smile parting his lips.----It's been a month since Sam has seen Grizz. It's been two months since New Ham changed forever. It's been two months since Eden was born.





	Going Home

They sleep in the same room now. The same room, the same bed. Almost as if they were a real couple. Becca sleeps a lot less these nights, and Sam often wakes up to her hogging all of the sheets. As winter continues on, Sam considers finding extra bedding, or even sleeping on a couch if that means he gets to be warm again at night. They sleep in the same bed. The same room. Almost like a real couple.

Eden’s crib is tucked away in the back corner, like a token of their commitment.

She’s two months old now, old enough to smile and old enough to hold Sam’s fingers in a tight little fist. She looks up at him like he has all the answers. The older she gets, the more and more she starts to look like Becca. And the less and less she looks like him.  
  
It’s six in the morning and light is streaming into their bedroom through a slit in the curtain, pristine and cold. Sam’s eyes flutter open as Becca shoves him lightly. Rubbing his eyes, he turns towards her. In the dim light, he can barely see her right pointer finger hover above her eye and move down quickly.  
  
“Crying.”

She points towards the crib.

Sam nods, dragging his tired body from under the thin layer of sheets and pulls on a pair of socks. He tries not to flinch against the bracing air as he moves quickly from their bed to Eden’s crib. He’s wearing a thick sweatshirt, and still, he can feel the hair rise on his arms like needles. New Ham forbade the use of heat as soon as December rolled around, as an attempt to conserve their undiscovered supply of energy. Sam can’t remember the last time he could feel his fingertips.

Eden’s face is scrunched up in a fit of tears, snot streaming down her face as she fists her tiny hands against her head, making the ends of her hair stick up like Einstein. Her hair is dark and matted, far too thick for a normal newborn. Whatever ‘normal’ means.

He lifts her small frame carefully, resting her against his chest and rocking her gently. To avoid disturbing Becca anymore, he takes Eden down to the kitchen, all the while rocking her as her tears slowly begin to stop and turn into hiccups. With one hand, Sam opens the fridge and takes out one of the bottles of milk Becca has pumped a few days before.

When the milk is done being heated, he tests it on the back of his palm to make sure it’s not too hot. He read that in a parenting book a few days after Eden was born. He was barely an adult and had already started reading parenting books in his free time.  
  
Eden sucked blissfully on the warm bottle and Sam sat down, exhausted. She was warm against his chest, and the slow movements of her sucking on the bottle were enough for him to want to close his eyes as well. The sun was swirling gently against the countertops in the kitchen, reflecting the bright snow that littered the ground outside. It was peaceful, almost serene.

Suddenly, from the coffee table in front of him, his phone lit up, illuminating the otherwise dark room.

He didn’t want to move, the comfort of Eden’s tiny body against his compelling him to stay exactly where he was. He let the text message stay unread. A moment later, as his eyes finally began to fall close, his phone lit up again. Afraid that it might be Becca, he gently bent forward, as to not disturb the baby, and picked up the phone.

It was a text from Grizz.

Sam tried not to remember the last time he had seen Grizz, just over a month ago. Back when New Ham wasn’t completely falling apart. Back when he could get eight hours of sleep a night. Back when the cold was bearable, and the ground wasn’t frozen and useless.

They were standing outside of Grizz’s house. Sam was holding a cup of coffee in his hands that have gone cold fifteen minutes ago.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Grizz had said, looking at his feet. His signing was improving, but Sam could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t want to keep having their lessons.

“Do what?” Sam asked, knowing the answer.

“I saw you with Becca earlier, at dinner. With Eden. The way you look at her, Sam, I know.”

“You know what?”

Grizz shook his head, and for a moment, it looked like he might turn away completely. But his eyes locked onto Sam’s.

“I know that we can’t be together. Not when you have Becca. Not when you have Eden.” Grizz’s eyes were red, and tears were imminent. Sam wanted to grab onto him and pull him in. He wanted to hold onto him and tell him just how much he meant to him. But he didn’t do any of that. Instead, he took a moment to collect his emotions and put them into words that made sense.

“Grizz, that isn’t true. I want to be with you. Please,” Sam signed. The cup in his hand was too full and too cold to be of any use. He wanted to throw it on the ground, have a fit, and cry his heart out. But he had people he needed to take care of. He had a baby now. He was all grown up. So he held onto the cup and waited as Grizz took a sharp breath in.

“I don’t want to be the thing standing in the way of you having a family. God, Sam,” Grizz laughed, bitterly. “You have a kid. With your best friend. And what am I in this picture? I’m just some... some guy. I thought… I thought I could handle it. I thought I could understand what happened. I thought we could work. But we can’t. I’m sorry, Sam. I can’t hold you back,” Grizz wiped at his face with his sleeve and turned to walk away, defeated.

Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him back, much as Grizz did to him right before Grizz left for his mission only about a month before. Before Eden. Before everything was so complicated.

“I can’t do this without you,” Sam said, clinging onto his cup of coffee like a lifeline.

“You’re going to have to, okay?” Sam could tell by the way his lips moved that he was yelling. “You’re going to have to. Look, I don’t know if you’re bisexual or whatever—“

“I’m not—“ Sam cut him off.

“Then what are you, Sam?” He was still yelling.

Sam looked at him for a moment, just staring. He knew Grizz wanted to look away, hide his tears and soak up his feelings in a beer.

“I’m your boyfriend,” Sam spoke Grizz’s language.

“No,” Grizz signed. “You’re a father.”

And with that, he turned and left. Sam stood alone, holding his cup of coffee. And as Grizz walked away, his hands stuffed into his pockets, it began to snow for the first time that winter.

He hadn’t seen or heard from Grizz since.

Sam stared at his phone. One hand was on Eden’s small back as she slept peacefully against his chest, and the other held his phone, displaying the two messages, both from Grizz.

‘I need to talk to you. Please.’

‘It’s important.’

Sam stared at the screen for what felt like five minutes, trying to figure out what Grizz was so desperate to talk to him about. Their last conversation ended with Sam assuming that Grizz never wanted to see him again.

Sam replied with a simple ‘okay’ and closed his phone. He spent the next few minutes looking out the window at the sunrise, imagine a world where it was warm enough to see it in person.

His phone lit up again.

‘Come outside.’

Sam squinted at the screen. He looked out the window again and didn’t see anything. Just white.

A part of him wondered if this was some kind of trap. Maybe the Guard decided to take Eden away from them? Just that thought alone made him hold onto Eden tighter.

After a moment of consideration, Sam ruled out baby kidnapping as a possibility at six in the morning on a Tuesday. Carefully, he stood, balancing the sleeping Eden against his chest with one hand. He grabbed a blanket from the end of the couch and wrapped it around both him and the baby to try and shield them from the cold outside.

Sam turned the handle to the front door slowly. Behind the door, stood Grizz.

Sam could almost feel his heart throbbing as he saw Grizz standing there, alone. His hair had gotten longer. His cheeks were rosy against the cold, and a scarf covered most of his neck and chin. He stood with his hands in his pockets. As soon as he saw Sam, his eyes glistened. When he panned down and saw Eden in his arms, he almost looked surprised.

“What are you doing here?” Sam started, signing with one hand as an attempt to not jostle the baby as much as possible.

Grizz didn’t speak, maybe because Eden was sleeping, and instead simply signed, “I needed to see you.”

“Why?” Sam questioned. The morning air was freezing against his bare face and his thin layer of clothing. He held Eden close.

Grizz bit his lips. He took a moment, staring at the snow beneath his boots before he replied.

“I think I know how to get us home,” He signed, a small smile parting his lips. 


End file.
